Tip Off Talk

Something funny happened to the Celtics on the way to the Eastern Conference Championship — they lost a home game.

At last, Bostonians again have a reason (other than the Bruins) to drink themselves to sleep.

It happened on an otherwise placid Wednesday evening. The 18-7 Pistons were in town, one of just three legitimate teams in the East. The final result was an 87-85 win for Detroit, dropping Boston to a paltry 20-3 and breaking their 12-game home unbeaten streak this season.

For what it’s worth, the last time the Celtics started 20-2 (best ever in franchise history) they won the NBA title.

Your TOT Tri-Plex Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night (record 9-6-1): The Nets have lost 6-of-7 and are a 5 point dog at Miami. This is a huge matchup problem for Jersey, and they’re playing like Rutgers. Take Miami to cover that 5.

And now … Bob Cousy does his best John Stockton impression

No Oden, No problem in Portland.

With eight straight wins, the NBA’s youngest team is spoiling GM Kevin Pritchard’s youth movement plans. When No. 1 pick Greg Oden was lost to the Blazers during the preseason, the team looked like a lock for another 20-30 win season.

After starting 5-12, that ballpark estimate appeared to be an accurate prognostication. Eight straight wins have Portland sitting at 13-12 — playing themselves right out of the Draft Lottery. Oh well. Better luck next year.

The TipOff Talk Tri-Plex Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night (record 8-6-1): Charlotte part owner Michael Jordan practiced with the Bobcats on Tuesday. The Jazz have lost 7-of-8 and are a 5-point favorite on the road. Take the inspired Bobcats to cover that 5.

And now … drunk in Portland

Not sure what else can be said. On the bright side, Kevin Garnett had something of substance to say postgame. And had nothing to do with roundball. See bottom.

Your TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the night (record 7-6-1) Jose Calderon is making the most of TJ Ford’s injury in Toronto. With the Spaniard running the point, Toronto has won 4-of-5 and is a 1-point dog tonight in D.C. Take Toronto to win again.

And now … Fashion Tips — Straight Eye from that Franchise Guy (wait for it at the 1:18 mark)

The trials of Job continue for The Chosen One as he was sidelined by a left index finger sprain against Detroit on Wednesday. With LeBron on the bench, the Cavs had about as much flow as iced honey, losing 109-74 with just 14 team assists.

X-Rays were negative. So was Cleveland coach Mike Brown: “Detroit just brought more energy than we did on both ends of the floor.”

Brown says LeBron is day-to-day. But, hey DP and KO — aren’t we all? Through 16 games, LJ is averaging 30.7 points, 8.1 assists, 1.9 steals, 1.5 blocks, 7.6 rebounds and 15,528 cups of light beer sold per game.

And now … owie

From the Colin Cowherd show on ESPN Radio Thursday:

Clarifying his Knicks are “a joke” comments: I am disappointed in the Knicks. They’re a joke because they should be so much better than their record indicates.

They have the talent, the big men and look a lot more like a Western Conference team … where they slow the game down.

On Phoenix not getting past San Antonio: They hit a wall spurs in a 7-game series. The Spurs are built for the playoffs. They’re built for a 7-game series. The logjam the Suns reach every year is the inability to score in the halfcourt against a team like the Spurs. They get the transition baskets in the regular season, but will have to score with the Spurs in the halfcourt if they’re ever going to advance to the Finals.

Reggie Miller — single and looo-vin’ it (holy double dip, Batman!) …
… is rapidly overtaking Chaz Barkley as the voice of substance in the NBA.

Miller on the Knicks: Right now, they are a league-wide joke. It’s sad because they are an historic and iconic franchise. But people think they are late night comedy jokes.

The TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night 6-6-1: Knicks are a 12-point dog at Boston. Celtics cover.

And now … six points in eight seconds to tie

1. Phoenix Suns
2. San Antonio Spurs
3. Boston Celtics
4. Orlando Magic
5. Utah Jazz
6. Dallas Mavericks
7. Denver Nuggets
8. Cleveland Cavaliers
9. Detroit Pistons
10. New Orleans Vagabonds

The TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night(current record 6-5-1): Golden State at Sacramento is currently even on the Vegas Big Board. Take the red hot Kings to win going away.

And Now … something Suns related (she loves sausage and eggs :50)

With a 10-2 record, 5 straight wins and the only W versus Boston’s Celtics, the Orlando Magic could be the hottest team in basketball. All this without a legitimate big man.

After dumping Donny Darko “Me, Me, Me” Milicic, the Magic have been switched on, Baby!

Granted, Darko is the greatest thing to come out of Yugoslavia since Pork Schnitzel. But even as the central cog in the Memphis Grizzlies’ machine, Milicic is averaging 10 points and 7.6 rebounds in 29 minutes.

Further, Milicic’s free-throw percentage is 48.3-percent, resurrecting the term “Hack a Slav”. Moreover, he’s 22, he’s injured and he sleeps with a male goat.

Following a 1/2-point cover between Duke and Princeton, the TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night staff has some mojo risin’ at 5-5-1. Gonna keep on risin - Mojo risin’ … Denver is clicking, stomping out three straight home wins of 17 points or better. Chicago is an 8-point underdog and will lose by at least 25. Take Denver to cover that 8.

And now … fetal alcohol syndrome at work (bega-bega-bega bout an hour ago)

… and hopefully the only one.

In a mounting he-said, she-said ballyhoo we only find in the township of New York, unconfirmed reports have Isiah Thomas calling Stephon Marbury’s bluff — telling the overpaid, over-hyped, over-the-hill point guard to get the hell out. Some 28 hours later, following what must have been a legendary Maui Wowie binge, the 30-year-old Georgia Tech star worked his panties out of his nether regions and got back to work.

This tete-a-tete falls firmly in TOT’s “Who Gives a Flying Ford Fairlane” file, as Isiah, New York, Rudy G and Stephon have all jumped the shark. Big payroll, big market, big losses, big Flying Ford Fairlane file.

In the TipOff Talk Tri-Plex Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night file, however (current record 4-5-1), we hit the NCAA hardwood where Princeton is a 22 1/2 point dog at Duke. Now, 22 1/2 is a ton of points against a slowdown 2-0 Princeton Tigers team — whether you are 1991 Loyola Marymount or the 1987 Denver Nuggets. Take Princeton to cover that nonsense by at least 5.

And now … how not to score (or cover by 22 1/2)

Orlando spoiled the Boston Celtics’ New England Patriots impersonation Sunday, winning a home game 104-102.

Boston slips to 8-1 and may now have difficulty hitting that 80-win window. The Magic are no slouches themselves at 9-2.

In news related to the rise in wins, Boston Celtics owner Wys Grousbeck told the Boston Globe that his team expects to sell out all 41 games at TD Banknorth Garden.

Grousbeck: We’re up over $10 million from tickets sales, sponsorships, radio and TV advertising. It’s a nice bump. Most if not all that money is going back out the door to players. But, as an owner, I couldn’t be more excited about going to another sold-out game and feeling we have a good chance to win every game we’re in. That’s the way I feel when I go to the Red Sox or Patriots.

And now … The Franchise throws one out for THE FRANCHISE

Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose. Got it? Good.

All you need to know about Derrick Rose is this — The Memphis freshman guard is starting at the point on a team that returns every starter from an 33-4 Elite-8 tournament team.

At 6-foot-3 and 190, he is no lock for graduation to the NBA like Oden and Durant before him. Give him a couple seasons and he’ll be running things in Toronto or Atlanta.

Tonight’s TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night (current record 4-4-1) comes from the Mile High City. Cleveland is a 5-point dog at Denver and will cover vs. the Nuggets.

And now… Rose making a mockery of prep talent (check the playground pass at :50)

Entering the season, the jury was out on how the three members of the Boston Godhead would work together on the mock Parquet. Through five games, it seems safe to say the Garnett/Price/Allen combo is working.

With five wins in five games, the Greentown Beantown trio is slapping folks around like Lawrence Phillips in a stairwell.

It is so bad, in fact, that white girls throughout the greater Commons area are painting their faces and flashing gang signs.

Not only are they winning, they are winning big over good teams, punking Denver 119-93 and defending NBA JV champion New Jersey 112-101 in Jersey. In all, the Celts are outscoring the opposition 107.6 to 91, allowing triple digits just once (Nets).

Tonight’s TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night (current record 3-4-1) Charlotte is a bad matchup for Houston, and the Rockets are 3 1/2 point favorites on the road. Take Charlotte to win outright, or at least cover.

And now … another (younger) ethnically confused white girl.

Back in the day, Michael Jordan lived in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park. According to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times on Wednesday, Kobe Bryant is attempting to buy that house.

If that is true — and we here at TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza stress that is a big IF — it begs the question, why would a kid from Philly playing in L.A. buy a house in Highland Park? Hmmm.

If it is true, it unravels all KB’s rhetoric suggesting he is not trying to be MJ Junior. It also suggests Kobe knows something we don’t about his immediate future.

Now, your TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night, current record 2-4-1. Utah is an 11-point favorite tonight at home against Memphis. Memphis already gave up 140 to the Pacers this season, so take NBA scoring leader Utah to cover.

And now … the greatest wipeoff in playoff history

With the return of supertalent Amare Stoudemire, Boris Diaw heads back into the shadows following a spectacular 3-game run. Playing for the injured Stoudemire, Diaw averaged 13.6 points, 5.6 rebounds and 5.3 assists.

With Stoudemire sidelined in 2005-06, Diaw averaged 13.3 points, 6.9 rebounds and 6.2 assists. With Stoudemire back last season, Diaw averaged 9.7 points, 4.3 rebounds and 4.8 assists.

TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the night: Current record 2-3-1 Tonight’s winner, Phoenix to cover 8 1/2 on the road at Miami.

And now, a Phoenix’s Frog gets revenge for the Blitzkrieg by dunking over a Kraut.

Forced to start the WunderKind out of Texas, the Seattle Sonics are 0-5 and are allowing the second most points per game in the NBA at 110.

Unlike college ball, the NBA plays defense — ridiculous illegal defense rules notwithstanding. The Sonics hit a new low-water mark Wednesday with a 105-98 loss to the Memphis Grizzlies. In the loss, Durant was 3-for-17 with two rebounds. Moreover, Durant has 17 turnovers through five games — acceptable numbers for a point guard, unacceptable for a swing man.

Also pulling a plow, the TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza Lock of the Night is on a 3-game skid. At 2-3, it is high time to knock back a neat double shot of single malt and pick a winner. That winner, patient friends and colleagues comes in the form of Dallas at Golden State.

The Mavs are a 5-point favorite on the road and are hot for comeuppance. Further, GS is allowing 119.5 per game. Take the Mavs to cover.

And now … ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd noting KD’s inability to bench 185.