Tip Off Talk

… and by “broad fallout” we mean “widespread league ramifications,” NOT “Rachel McAdams failing to fill out her groovy purple dress.”
On the subject of the former, any move of significance in a major Eastern NBA market does two things:
A) It forces team owners, presidents and controlling partners to take a hard look at their team General Managers. In middle management, silence is death. Even if you aren’t doing something, you must make it look as if you are.

B) It gives every player in the league either Pennies Envy or Talent Envy. These are conditions Sigmund Freud described as latent desires to have sexual relations with your mother — or Rachel McAdams’ dress, whichever you can get on the floor first.

We here at TipOff Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza have come up with the top 5 reactions to the Wolves-Celtics trade:

1) Kobe assumes the fetal position. After a day well spent macking on 15-year-old cheerleaders at Long Beach, Bryant returns home, washes the sand out of his vertical smile and turns the electric blanket up to 9.

2) The Knicks get a transfusion. Historically, New York is not Boston’s chief basketball rival. Detroit or Philly get that nod. Given the mutual disgust between the two townships, however, Isaiah Thomas will be on the hook to sign another washed-up, 34-year-old shooting guard.

3) Minneapolis residents beat their feet on the Mississippi mud. The very fabric of the Twin Cities’ infrastructure turns to dust in the post-KG era.

4) Tim Duncan yawns. Soon thereafter, Timmy Bear wipes his nose, orders a Belgian Waffle and counts his finger jewelry.

5) Detroit, Cleveland, Miami and New Jersey get ready for Round 2. When Boston secures the 5-seed with a 46-win season, one of these 4 teams will be slotted to bounce the defense-starved Celtics out of the first round.

And now … a 39-year-old Reggie Miller exposes Paul Pierce’s “defense” with a 33-point playoff beootch slap in 2005.