No-witzki, No-winny — the Lame Duck Lord of the NBA
That German kid has game, no question. He was the NBA’s best all around shooter — setting career bests this past season in field goal percentage (50.2), 3-point percentage (41.6) and free-throw percentage (90.4).
And there is no question Dapper Dirk is the NBA’s regular season MVP. None.
He 
was on the league’s best team through 82 games, and his mouthpiece shifting skills are second to none. But at the tender age of 29, that CurryWurst eating cat from Wurzburg is the Lamest Lame Duck since Dubya.
To employ golf terminology, Dirk can flat mash off the tee — but he can’t chip, can’t putt, can’t finish.
Using baseball as a crossover, Dirk is the guy who crushes shots into the gap and then gets picked off second — can’t run, can’t field, can’t finish.
To assume the jargon of current Geopolitical Conflict running afoul (thanks to a certain C-student from Texas and his Vampire master) — Dirk has the guns, the drums and the funds — but he can’t finish what he starts.
And for the first time in league history, an MVP didn’t get out of a first-round 7-game series. When he accepts the trophy in street clothes at someone else’s halftime or pre-game, MVP will stand for …
Mavs Vacate Playoffs
Man Vithout Purpose
Mistaken Vor Player
Massive Victory Potential
Midseason Vote Purveyor
Missing Venom Postseason
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