Tip Off Talk

Maybe something was lost in the translation. Or maybe Darko Milicic has a thing for the mothers of referees.
Whatever the reason, Milicic’s tirade following Serbia’s 68-67 loss to Greece earlier this week makes Dennis Rodman look like Pooh Bear’s little buddy Piglet. This display cost the Orlando big man $13,770 and must be seen.

And now … Darko’s sexual tension exposed. (office, child warning)

Appalachian State beat Michigan’s No. 5 football team in the Big House on Saturday. And it was glorious. Even for the stunned, staggered faithful in Wolverine blue. To lose a game to a I-AA at home in front of 100K loyalists is sweet — like a bloody lip.

The loss dropped the team out of the top 25, marking the biggest single-week freefall in the AP Top-25 Poll’s history. The team has now lost three straight and 4 of its past 5.

At last, the circle is complete.
At last, the UM football team is starting to look as bad as the Michigan basketball team.
At last, Michigan can push its academic excellence in tweed jackets instead of silly blue hats.
UM basketball, a throaty contender throughout the 80s and early 90s, hasn’t made the NCAA field of 64 (or 65) since 1998. The two years before that, UM was bounced in the first round.

Welcome to mediocrity, ye generation of vipers. Now get out of here. Go study your British Lit elsewhere.

And now … Hail to the Victors (App State, that is) …

In a new feature here at Tip Off Talk Towers and Convention Center Plaza, the Sushi Bar in the East Foyer will begin featuring the Bengal Big Roll, just like the one they serve in the Ninth Floor Arboretum Lobby. Au gratis, as always.

In addition, some of the writers have suggested we feature relatively unknown NBA players in a Best Player You’ve Never Heard Of featurette. Management agreed. A memo was sent. And here I am. Hey, its a long offseason.
So before I meet up with Ann Bancroft and Salman Rushdie for 18-holes on the TOT Towers and CC Plaza North course today, I give you Kevin Martin.
-Apparently Kevin Martin is worth $11 million per season. “Who in the hee-haw-hell is Kevin Martin,” you ask?

-Martin is shooting guard who will soon begin his fourth NBA season with Sacramento.
-Drafted out of Western Carolina with the 26th pick of Round 1, Martin played sparingly as a rookie.
-This past season, however, Martin led the 33-49 Kings in scoring at 20.2. (47.3 FG%, 84.4 FT%, 4.3rpg)
-Striking while the iron was white hot, Martin inked a 5-year, $55M deal.

And Now … Martin getting “no travel call” props from the refs — he’s finally a 3-step NBA player.

Thank you Adolf. Without your genetic manipulation in pursuit of a Master Race, the Orlando Magic would never have had the chance to land 6-foot-11 German forward Marcin Gortat.

Gortat went with the 57th overall pick in the 2005 draft and averaged 10.4 points, 5.6 rebounds and 1.1 blocked shots for the Euroleague’s RheinEnergie Koln. Orlando found a way to pry this German gem away from Phoenix this week.

And Now … Gortat follies.

First things first. His name is Yi Jianlian. You can call him Yi.

Second things second. Yi finally put pen to paper on a 6-year deal (complete terms not immediately disclosed) with the increasingly irrelevant Milwaukee Bucks. Why increasingly irrelevant? Well, Green Bay will have a defense this year, and the Journal Sentinel (airball on me) only has room on its cover for Cheese Headers and Badger types.

Reports that the Milwaukee City Council agreed to rename the city “Milwauk-Yi” as part of the deal are greatly exaggerated.

And now … Yi (6-11, 238) dunks on the Spaniards in 2006, misses a FT, and dunks again.

Reggie Miller said no. And with the Boston Celtics’ signing of free agent James Posey, it appears Boston GM Danny Ainge believes Miller.
At 42, Miller is already on the downside of his ability to respond to testosterone stimulation. Either that or he can’t stand the thought of another 9 months of NBA rigor, concrete pillows and $2,800 escorts (see blonde below).

Goodbye Reggie, old bean. If I were single, rich and had 5-large laying around for the weekend party schedule, I wouldn’t sleep alone either.

Power to the Playboy, Reginald. Power to the Playboy.

And now … Roasting Reggie.

Adonal Foyle, (seen at right in a daydream sequence he calls “Friendly Fire: Who will Sex Adonal?!?”) will now play for Orlando’s Magic.
Orlando’s setup is much more friendly to a 6-foot-10, 270-pounder than the free-for-all at Golden State.

That explains why Foyle averaged fewer than 20 minutes per game over a 10-year career in Oakland.

He had plenty of time to sign cars at the Las Vegas All Star Bonanza, however.

And now … Adonal’s Good Times Jamboree: The Lives and Times of Foyle.

Reggie Miller to The Minnesota Star: “Physically, I know I could have done it. But mentally, when you do something like this, you’ve either got to be all in or all out. And I’ve decided I’m all out.”

Damn. That steals from what would have been epic Anti-Climax.

And now … Reggie losing it over Peanut Butter, Charles.

Former No. 7 overall pick Eddie Griffin died late last week in Houston Texas.

The 6-foot-10, 232-pound F/C collided with a train in an apparent attempt to beat the signal. Houston officials announced Tuesday dental records positively identified Griffin as the driver of the vehicle. The T-Wolves waived Griffin in March.

Griffin was 25.

Dangling Udonis Haslem as bait, the Miami Heat apparently are attempting to work a deal with Sacramento for Ron Artest. It seems Riley is quick to forgive/forget the scrum of yesteryear. (see bottom)

From the Miami Herald’s “Florida Sports Buzz” column, penned by the always dapper Barry Jackson: • Word is the Heat is intent on making another push to acquire Ron Artest, trying to entice Sacramento with Udonis Haslem and others. . . . Pat Riley noted last week that in ratings he uses, Dorell Wright was fourth in the NBA among backup shooting guards and small forwards. But when Riley said ”this could be [Wright's] breakout year,” it came with the usual caveat — ”as long as he doesn’t have anybody in front of him that’s always giving me a chance to make a decision to play somebody ahead of him.” . . . Riley said he likes the idea of using Dwyane Wade, Jason Williams and Smush Parker together at times.

And now … Ron Rage!

Wednesday, during the Dan Patrick Show radio broadcast on ESPN Radio, DP caught up with Reginald Q. Miller at his homestead to talk NBA return.

The actual broadcast sounded like this.

Now, he didn’t come back for the postseason run with Dallas — to the Mavs’ detriment. But When Phil the Show Killer connected with Miller, Kevin Garnett was at the front gate, chumming it up with Miller in a bald faced attempt to bring the 42-year-old RM out of retirement.

Now, Miller is adamant he will allow his workouts to determine his readiness and potential return. That sounds much like “allowing conditions on the ground dictate our Iraq policy.”

Reggie is wanted. When you’re 42 and all the young, spry pups want you to fill out the city league softball team, you oil your mitt and go stand at first base — anything to shake off the “Glory Days” blues.

And now … The Boss on Letterman celebrating mid-life crisis, testicular indifference and gout.

AP Photo

So the guy has a gambling addiction. Fine.
So he is on antidepressants and psychotropics for his sadness. Whatever.
So Tim Donaghy is charging headlong through his mid-life crisis. Zip-a-dee Bloody do-dah.

None of that matters.
Because when his testimony hit the judge late this week, the transcript did as much to tarnish the NBA as it did Donaghy.

Now, Timmy Bear isn’t posturing himself as a victim. Hardly. The guy pleaded guilty and is spilling his guts.

In doing so, he illustrated the following for the justice dept.

1) NBA refs have tendencies. Some call playoff games more tightly. Others give veteran players preferential treatment. Others hold grudges against players and/or teams.

2) As a veteran NBA referee, Donaghy had, in his own words, “non-public information. I was in a unique position to predict the outcome of NBA games.” As such, he could make educated wagers — and help others do the same.

3) Our black-and-white image of this sin is smudged. Nowhere in the indictment did it read “game fixing” because that wasn’t happening. Neither did it read “point shaving” because that wasn’t really happening either.

What was happening, according to Donaghy’s testimony, was a straight probability play. Taking the edge away from the house, if you will. Counting cards, but different.

All Donaghy really had was specific knowledge. Specific knowledge of officiating inconsistencies.

And if that knowledge didn’t pan out, he fell back on his whistle and made it pan out.

“National Basketball Association, how do you plead?”

Tim Donaghy entered guilty pleas Wednesday to the following felony charges: 1) conspiracy to engage in wire fraud 2) transmitting wagering information through interstate commerce.

Those two charges carry a maximum combined sentence of 25 years. According to AP reports, Donaghy told the judge he was on antidepressant and anxiety pills, and was under a psychiatrist’s care for gambling addiction.

Donaghy was released on a $250,000 bond.

And now … the long walk home.

Indiana GM Larry Bird says he has no interest in dealing Jermaine O’Neal. The Nets and Lakers continue to surface as potential suitors, for whatever reason. Serious? Perhaps. Posturing? Maybe. More likely a confluence thereof, complete with cryptic text message innuendo.

And it’s no wonder the kid’s name is bouncing around among the GM offices of the desperate virtual contenders. Over the past six seasons in Pacers’ yellow, JO has been a consistent 20-10 man with 2.5 blocks per.

Problem is, JO suited up for just 164 of 246 games over the past three seasons. That’s two-thirds, folks. Two-out-of-three ain’t bad, eh Meatloaf.

JO turns 29 later this season and has 10-straight years of pro ball under his belt since he was drafted 17th overall by Portland. Imagine that. Big man out of high school breaking down prior to his prime.

And now … Meat! Meat! Meat!

Free agent rumors are like unsightly bikini zone hair — abundant, difficult to manage and seemingly coming from everywhere at once.

Refusing to get a maxie-waxie like everyone else, the Cavaliers and Mavericks apparently want to see what Allan Houston has left.

These guys in Queens (below) immediately celebrated in the only appropriate way — with a funnel, jug, chug and an old No. 20 jersey ripe with the funk of mothballs.

Houston, now 36, last played in 2005. Over his 12 years (nine with NYK, three with DET), Houston averaged 17.3 points and 33.7 minutes. The shooting guard did just that, hitting. .402 from beyond the 3-point arc and 86.3 percent of his free throws.

Houston, who left due to an arthritic knee and was an ESPN analyst, says he has been working out and believes he is healthy enough to again become a regular NBA contributor.

And now … testament to same.